Memorial Day means something special

Because the military is very close to my heart I would just like to say Happy Memorial Day! From my family alone both of my grandfathers served in the Army and Navy respectively and my step-dad served a full career in the Army as well. Not to mention Josh spending 4 years in the Army in military intelligence and as a paratrooper and then going back to serve in the National Guard.

I am so proud of those who have served our country and those who still do and we all owe our freedom to those who have been willing to fight for it. I remember going to Arlington National Cemetery in DC last summer and realizing that there are people out there who serve to protect the rest of us and it was unbelievable that so many think about the welfare of the world before themselves and I am truly grateful for that.

Thank you to all of the members of our United States military branches!

This reminds me of....

It's funny how certain things in your life remind you of the people you surround yourself with. Take for instance music...when I hear the song "These Days" by Rascal Flatts I'm automatically reminded of Josh. It brings back memories of our first date 3 years ago and how far we've come in that amount of time. Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, We're Going Down" reminds me of M and I in our old office and a conversation we had about a crazy night of celebrating and partying after training down in the Southern Missouri facility back in December. "Build Me Up Buttercup" reminds me of my mom and her singing me that song when I was just a tot. And I'm reminded of my bro every time I hear "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot. My bro sings an awesome version of that song that I was quite shocked to hear at first because he doesn't seem like the type who could rap. In any case, I have a lot of good memories from songs and music in general.
Last night something else brought back some very good memories for me as well. It all started when M and I decided yesterday that we were going to go out after work. We haven't really had a chance to go dance or kick back in quite awhile (ok probably only a few weeks) and after the week that we had we felt we deserved a break. So I got online at lunch and tried to find out what bands were playing where and see what we could iron out. Well come to find out two of our favorite local bands were playing at the Bottleneck Blues Bar last night and we definitely wanted to go. But the bar didn't open until about an hour after we got off of work so we needed a plan for grabbing something quick to eat and possibly getting a drink there before dancing the night away. That's when we thought about SidePockets. SidePockets is a bar and billiards hall and we'd been there one time before with J and we only found it by accident after the other bar that we were at only accepted cash and all we had at the time were debit and credit cards. Anyway, our little stop in to SidePockets last night reminded me of that night and all the fun we had before J left for Laredo and then of course it brought back the memories of all of the crazy stuff that the 3 of us did for the 2 months he was in St. Louis by himself. The night at SidePockets, M lost her cell phone and J and I called it like 20 times to see if we could hear it ringing anywhere in the bar. Come to find out it was in J's truck and when he and I went out there looking for it all you could hear was what sounded to be a chicken clucking. It wasn't, but her ringtone sounded really funny and all I remember J saying in his Arkansas accent, "where the hell is that chicken noise coming from...who has chickens around here?" It was hilarious. Of course the thought of this brought back all of the memories of the fun times I've had with my coworkers at this company. Who would have thought a year ago that I would have met some of the greatest people in the world that I now call some of my closest friends.
What is also kind of funny when it comes down to it is that M completely agreed with me. We were talking yesterday about how it doesn't seem like either of us has changed that much but that we both think that some of our other friends are no longer on the same page as we are. Probably the biggest thing I have seen myself is the fact that I hardly keep in contact with the friends I had in high school and college. I always thought that I would have a small group of people from both high school and college that I would email or call and see on a semi-regular basis. While I know that lives move forward and priorities change it seems as the contact has fallen by the wayside. I know a lot of that is probably my fault since I don't get online every night like I used to and I'm not very good at calling people back. And it also boils down to the fact that I have been very dedicated to getting my feet off of the ground with my job and trying to adjust to living on my own. But like my new motto suggests, "live and learn" -- either I will go back to contact all of the people I thought I would remain friends with over the years or I will just move forward. I haven't decided which is best yet especially since I'm pretty much satisfied with my life at the moment, except for one small thing that hopefully will work itself out in enough time, so we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy the 3 day weekend if you're lucky enough to get Monday off!

"Take Me Out to the Ball Game"

The new Busch Stadium is awesome! And to top it off, Saturday's game is probably the best game I've gone to in a long time. Of course what made it even better is that I had the most important guy in my life sitting in the seat next to me. Josh was thoroughly impressed with the stadium and the company seats as well and I'm so glad that he was able to go with me. We got to the game at the bottom of the first inning because dinner took us a little longer than we expected but from the time we got there until we left it was an exciting game. The D'backs pitching was lacking a bit and the Cardinals took advantage of that. Rolen hit a home run with runners on 2nd and 3rd and then someone else knocked in a run later in the inning. In the 2nd inning, Albert the Great hit a homer and the crowd went wild. In fact, the rest of the night when he came to the plate the flashes were going like crazy to get a good shot of him hitting another one out of the park but it still was exciting to watch him every time. The Cardinals ended up winning the game 9-1 and moved into first place in the Central Division. But, perhaps the greatest part of the night was the time I got to spend with Josh. I updated him on all of the progress made with my job and everything else that has happended in the last 3 months. He told me about the National Guard and school next semester and of course we talked about everything we still wanted to go see and do this summer. It will be great if we get to take a weekend or even a few days one week and go on another one of our adventures. The last two years we've been lucky enough to be able to go to Vegas and Washington DC...who knows what this summer will bring and if we'll even get any time to go somewhere. I'm sure going to try though!

Sunday was Mother's day and like a good daughter, I went and spent the day with my mom and grandma. We ended up going to Longhorn for dinner and then came back to my apartment for cake. It wasn't a very eventful day because my mom was working on student assessments for her classes.

Today started another week of work. Time just flies by there. Our terminal manager from Laredo was supposed to come into town today however his flight was cancelled because of storms in the south so he won't be in until tomorrow. It will be nice to meet him, since most of us in our office have only talked to him on the phone. Plus, it will be nice to have him in the same office for a few days to help us with some issues in person. I've got a list of stuff for him to look at already and I'm sure more things will come up this week. M and I are also supposed to be planning a happy hour for later this week for everyone...not sure what is going on with that though yet. I wasn't able to give much thought to it today, but if we do something I'm sure it will be exciting. Tomorrow I have another AR meeting, but this week it's an hour earlier than normal. I'm sure I'll be running around the office like an idiot tomorrow trying to get everything accomplished before my meeting. The one good thing is that I'll be able to get my meeting minutes out a little earlier and I might be able to leave on time for a change and I am looking forward to that! It will be better though if my numbers are actually down this week. We'll see what happens though...I might have to start knocking some heads together to get results. Watch out now!

"Good Things Come To Those Who Wait"

So I was minding my own business, dealing with the everyday Monday stuff, sending out stern emails on what we need to change to make sure that operations are moving in the right direction and correcting problems when M gets a phone call from the President of the company. He tells her that he needs to see the two of us in his office immediately. I was freaking out. I haven't been the nicest person at work...I've been very demanding and I have started to question some of my coworkers actions because I want our company to grow and become one of the leaders in the industry and I thought he was going to come down on me for my attitude. As for M...I didn't know why he was calling her in but we both walked into his office together and he asked that we shut the door. I'm thinking to myself, "Oh no...this can't be good." So we sit down and asks what our plans are for the rest of the week. M had some family stuff going on but I told him I was free all week. The greatest thing happened. He told us he was very pleased with all of our work and he wanted to show his gratitude with Cardinals baseball tickets. We were very excited and we ended up getting two tickets a piece for Saturday's game against the D'backs. It was freaking awesome, especially since not everyone in our office will get a chance to get tickets for this season. Plus, I'm dying to see the new Busch Stadium and I'll have a great view from 11 rows off of the field.
After the meeting I sent Josh a text message telling him the good news and asking if he wanted to go with me to the game. Turns out he would love to! And that meant more awesome news for me! I'm so excited for Saturday! The game will be fun but more importantly I want to see Josh. It's been awhile and I miss him tremendously and I think it will be great for us to get to go to the game together. We definitely need to spend some time with each other and catch up.

In other news, this weekend was pretty fun. Friday after work we went to Chevy's for Cinco de Mayo and had a great time drinking margaritas and eating chips and salsa. The Smash Band was playing and they were alright. We danced a bit and because we were completely worn out we left about 11. That's an early night for M and I, usually we're out until the bars close, but we had a wedding to attend on Saturday and I didn't want to feel like crap so I decided it was best to just grab something quick to eat and get home. Saturday one of the guys I work with got married and M and I and a bunch of other coworkers were invited to the ceremony and reception at Pere Marquette in Grafton. I didn't realize what a drive that is from my place, almost 100 miles round trip, but it was well worth it. We had fun with everyone from work and it ended up being a very nice afternoon and evening. No wild antics this weekend but it was a good time and I ended up finding out on Saturday night that I do in fact like whiskey sours. I wasn't sure if I would, but the few that I had were pretty tasty. You learn something new everyday!

And Sunday I just ended up staying home and getting caught up on ironing and other household duties that I have put off for weeks. I also found out that I like the show Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel. It was pretty interesting to watch Alaskan fishermen battle the weather and the sea and the other teams out there trying to get the most snow crab. I'm so easily amused.

As for the rest of the upcoming week, well I'm not sure what is in store yet. I have an accounts receivable meeting tomorrow afternoon with the bosses and the normal stuff going on, but I'm sure something will come up and frazzle me in no time. Luckily, I work with some of my closest friends too so I'm sure that either J or M will pull me out of my funk...they always do!

"Trust me...I really am a nice person"

There are a few people that might not agree with that, but it is only because I'm passionate about many things in life and I don't want to see things messed up if they don't have to be and perhaps that is the reason why I get a little testy with work and the rest of my life. Work is the main issue right now for me still however it is getting better by the day; however, me being the impulsive and demanding person I am -- that is not nearly fast enough. Geez...how do my friends and family put up with me???? No wonder Josh still lives 2 hours away from me.
Anyway, there was problem after problem at work this week, but I got most of it cleared up or at least fixed to the point to where I can deal with it this upcoming week should there not be any other fires to put out. My boss will be gone the next three days so I'm sure there will be a few things that come up and I will have to deal with. This past Friday night I stayed late to close the April books. It is very hard for me to believe that the first day of May is tomorrow. Where has almost half of 2006 gone? It's been 10 months since I walked into our office for the first time and was a nervous wreck in front of my current coworkers...almost been a year since I walked across that stage at McKendree for the commencement ceremony...and, it's been nearly 5 years since I graduated from high school. My how time flies!

As for this weekend, it has been pretty good. Friday night was an absolute blast! I stayed late at work to get the month-end stuff done and then M called me on my way home and told me that since I could finally drink again, she picked up some Smirnoff Ice's and Bud Select and the party was at her house. Really it wasn't a party, we had just decided that since next Friday is Cinco de Mayo and we were planning on going out that night that we would just take it easy this week and behave and have just a girls night in. So I went over to M's house and we had a few drinks and talked about all the stuff going on and danced our hearts out. M's husband thought we were nuts when he got home from work because it was just the two of us in the living room blasting the CD that M's son downloaded for her and singing and dancing around. I haven't had that much fun in a long time! I ended up leaving M's house at like 3 in the morning and I was completely worn out.
Yesterday morning my alarm went off waaaayyyy too early and I was out of it but I had to get up and drive out to my Grandma's to visit my dad and her out in S. Illinois. It was nice to get to see them especially since I haven't gotten out there in quite a few months because of my hectic schedule. I missed seeing my bro while I was out there but I was finally able to bring out his birthday card -- it's only a month and a half late!
Today I spent most of my day getting caught up with household things that I have put off the last few weeks and going grocery shopping, etc. Nothing too exciting but I have to get things like that done at some point and I knew it wouldn't happen next weekend with Cinco de Mayo on Friday and a wedding on Saturday. I'm sure I will just need Sunday to recover next weekend! But, I'll get an update in there somewhere!

Truckin' Accountant

Well I must say, I feel much better since that last post. Granted I am still working quite a few extra hours but I was able to meet with C after our AR meeting yesterday and he was a big help. Really I just wanted to let him know about some of the things I had been seeing with my job and even though he's not my boss directly (since he's in Operations and I'm in Administration) I knew he would be the most help to me getting things corrected. And I have to say, he seemed to take everything to heart and I have already seen some changes that will be beneficial to our company. I'm quite impressed too especially since I never thought that I had enough guts to go to anyone in an authority position and give them my ideas and have them agree with me on a majority of what I mentioned. Maybe I am growing up and actually learning something about the industry I work in...who knows I might be a Truckin' Accountant in no time. There is a reason I say that. Yesterday afternoon while I was getting ready for my meetings one of our fleet managers came back to the billing and accounting office to find someone else who is usually in his department and when he asked where she was at, someone else told him that he thought she might be in accounting. So he walks back to my desk, which is the first desk in the department and says, "is this accounting? I was told to come back to accounting to find so and so and I didn't know we had an accounting department here. Are you really accountants or just accounting wannabees?" My response to him was, "yes there are really accountants back here. You're staring at an accountant right now." He was amazed and of course he next question to me is, "do you have a real degree from a real college?" And in my head I'm thinking...no I just printed one out on my computer...but I was nice and just came back with, "of course, I graduated from McKendree College in December 2004." I guess it is hard for people to believe that I've been so serious and got myself through school so fast. So perhaps I educated one person yesterday afternoon and maybe now he realizes that I'm more than just the co-chairperson of the "Party Planning Committee in Accounting." HA!

In other news, I talked to my buddy J this afternoon before I left work. Even though I haven't had much of a chance to talk to him lately but nothing has really changed...he's still the great guy that seems to care so much about his pals up here in STL. I asked him when he expected to be back up this way and he's not sure. We would love to see him up here soon though or M and I just might have to make that trip to Texas sometime this summer!

Anyway tomorrow night is Parties at the Plaza after work and it should be fun. We all definitely need a happy hour after the last few days. M, S and I went out last Friday to our regular hotspot and had a great time dancing. This week will be no different....we have fun wherever we go. If anything exciting or noteworthy happens I'll be sure to remember it for the next time I write.

Just call me a sucker...

I guess I have it written on my forehead because it's been 4 days since I've decided that I couldn't change everything at work and I was going back to working the 8 or 8.5 hours a day that I had agreed to. And what happens today I go back to working 10 hours at work and then I bring stuff home with me. My brain is telling me I'm a loser and I just let everyone walk all over me but I can't stop. Just from the few days that I decided not to go in early I've got an extra days worth of work to do and no time to get it done. Everyone has deadlines of 5 pm on Friday afternoon and of course I'm supposed to meet them. Is it possible? No. But, will I work myself into a shambled and emotional mess trying to please everyone.....of course. Something has to give and eventually it is going to be me, but that will only be when I become so frazzled I have a heart attack...maybe then someone will realize that I'm only one person because I sure as hell haven't realized it yet.

I feel so old...

In a little over a months time, I have found out about 4 upcoming weddings of friends of mine. This would not be that big of a deal to me but I have grown up with some of these people and it just does not seem possible that any of us are old enough to even start thinking about getting married. I wish all of them the best and I will be there to celebrate the big day, but wow, I'm starting to feel old now. I know I'm definitely not at the point in my life to get married myself and I'm just trying to have fun and experience what I can from life right now before taking that next step and completely settling down. I will say though that next Saturday(April 15th - tax day for all of you financial whiz kids) is the 3-year anniversary of Josh & mine's first date. I remember that day like it was yesterday. We met down in South County for lunch and watched a movie together. Hard to believe that he has been willing to put up with me for 3 years!
Speaking of Josh, he called the other night to tell me that he joined the National Guard in Cape and he's getting ready to take his test for pilot training. I am proud of him for deciding to do this, but I'm still scared for him too. Call me crazy, but even though he knows what he is doing, I worry about him. Hopefully we'll see each other soon because I do miss him tremendously right now.

As for my weekend, well I haven't really done much but I needed this time just to reflect a bit. Everyone at work was busy on Friday night so after I finished the last of my emails to customers and coworkers I came home and just took the time to unwind. It had been a very stressful week and the lack of sleep had finally caught up to me so I kicked back and watched a little tv and called it a night about 10:30. I must have been tired because M called my phone at like 10:50 pm and again at 11:15 pm and I didn't hear it play, "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" or even vibrate across the table onto the floor and it was barely a foot away from me. She went to the Train concert at the Pageant and they were playing my favorite Train song and she wanted me to hear it. It ended up going into my voicemail so I have a nice 3 and half minute message playing "Drops of Jupiter." Actually it did sound pretty neat though! M is good for playing these songs in my voicemail. The other night she was driving and left me a message playing Shinedown on my voicemail for me because it was on the radio and I absolutely love that band. For all of you that don't know also, when you call me and I don't have a specific ringtone set up for you...it plays Shinedown so if I don't answer my phone right away it's because I'm rocking out to "Save Me."
Yesterday I did a bit of spring cleaning and some organizing and just tried to get some of the stuff here at home in order and then last night I watched a few episodes of my new favorite show, Tuckerville. That show cracks me up!
Tomorrow all hell breaks loose at work again but I have decided that I can't change the world and I'm going to do the best I can and work normal hours again for the time being and maybe then I won't be so irritable all the time and I can go back to being the normal happy-go-lucky girl that everyone else has come to know. :)

Who am I becoming???

There is a reason why I haven't updated in well over a week and that reason is that really the only time that I have spent any time at my place I have been asleep or I've come home to change clothes and head back out. I think in the last two weeks I have gone out 6 nights for either happy hours or parties with friends...and that is just not me (ok, it's the new me). The other nights I've spent extra hours at work trying to get caught up with the new policies and procedures we have put into place. I do have a few good stories from this past week though.
Last weekend ended up being a lot of fun. Friday M and I hit a few spots around town with our co-workers and then went to Syberg's. The band there was amazing...I think I'm going to become their groupie. The bass player was a hottie and reminded me of Josh.
Saturday M and I hit a bar in Brentwood to celebrate her sister's boyfriend's birthday and then we drove out to Wildwood for another party, only to miss the people at that party and by the time I got home it was pretty late.
Tuesday night we went out for D's last day at our company. We went to HotShots after work and that was a nice release after my AR meeting that afternoon. Even though this was the second week for our meetings, I was still nervous and especially with C sitting right across from me rather than on a conference call from Laredo. But, I got through my meeting and I think we're making a little bit of progress. We'll see for sure after this Tuesday when I apply a somewhat large payment from one of our main customers. C made the comment that I'm becoming quite fiesty with taking care of the past dues and he knows I definitely want to try to make a difference.
Thursday ended up being a pretty good time too. Actually M and I were minding our own business working late when the owner of the company came in with the President after he came into town for a meeting. We got to talking and he told me what my goals should be for collecting AR and helping billing. M and I got back to working on our project while they went to talk in the President's office but around 7 or so they told us that they were going for drinks at one of our favorite hangouts and that if we wanted to we could join them. This was so awesome! I thought it was a perfect opportunity to mingle with the big shots again and we took them up on the offer. We made small talk while we were out having drinks and then they invited us to go have dinner. Since C was craving steak, the 5 of us hit a Japanese steakhouse. The night ended up being a blast -- I caught a piece of shrimp in my mouth when the chef launched it in my direction (the only one at the table who was able to do it also!), the owner of the company spit water at me when the president asked M what the key was for a long successful marriage and everyone was joking about my age, but I will say they are impressed as well!
Friday we hit HotShots again for another happy hour with our work bunch and then finally I was able to take my step-dad and mom out for dinner last night for my step-dad's birthday. We went for Mexican and celebrated with margaritas. I had a lot of fun...my parents sure know how to kick it! Anyway, I got home and pretty much crashed. Today was the kind of day where I would have loved to stay home but I'm actually glad I didn't because of the horrible storms this afternoon. We're getting back into the time of the year where tornadoes are a major factor and today was a good example of that. The weather changed drastically this afternoon and within a 10 minute gap the temperature dropped 20 degrees. Thank goodness my mom has a basement in her house otherwise I would have been freaking out. Luckily there was no real damage besides a few shingles coming off of the house and some of the soffits falling off.
Tomorrow it's back to the grindstone at work, but I think with working a few hours on Saturday morning, I will have a little less pressure on me than most Mondays. Granted, I say that now and tomorrow will end up being a complete disaster. In any case, I'm going to take these last few hours and go relax and try to clear my mind a bit.

"Grab It By The Horns And Run With It"

Perhaps the greatest advice I have received in the past 3 days was that line and I believe with that little bit of encouragement, I was able to prove that I'm serious about my job and I do have a clue as to what is going on. It all started on Tuesday morning when I got an email from my buddy J down in Laredo thanking me and telling me he was in chocolate chip heaven with the cookies that M and I sent down the day before. Of course I emailed him back and let him know that it was not a problem and we enjoyed baking them and I appreciated his friendship. Small talk went on through email for a bit and then I decided that since my meeting was at 4, I needed to get on the ball and get everything sorted out and organized for that and I figured that since he had helped me in the past, J wouldn't mind helping me out a little bit again so then we started emailing about customers and the meeting that afternoon. I told him that I was extremely nervous, especially with the little bit of experience that I had and having to try to explain my strategies to 3 other people in the meeting and then have them help me determine what the next steps should be for some of our deadbeats all while taking down minutes to report back to the President of the company. The next email I get is that line and only that line, "grab it by the horns and run with it." So of course, I had to email him back and ask what exactly he meant....come to find out after talking to him and a few of my other work friends, I exude some sort of confidence in my job and while I may not have all of the experience in the world, I am serious about it and everyone sees that. I was actually quite shocked. I have never found myself to be a person with very much confidence, I have been a wallflower all of my life because I don't ever feel good enough to take that next step. Perhaps I'm changing or perhaps I just have numerous personalities and I adapt for the situation and maybe at work the stronger personality comes out. But one thing is for sure, whether he is 1,110 miles away or down the hall J (like M) knows exactly what to do to calm my nerves and I am truly grateful for that. I definitely owe him a drink (or numerous drinks) the next time he comes into town.

Yesterday ended up going fairly smooth and even though it was Wednesday it was a lot calmer than many of the other Wednesdays I've experience lately. Today was a pretty good day as well. I had a few minor issues to attend to this morning but after that, I was able to focus my time on many of the things we talked about in our meeting. C called me to tell me that he was working on the 4 accounts I gave him to take care of while he was down in Laredo and he had a few of the others gathering information that would be helpful to our operations in accounting and billing as well. This afternoon I was going to town on researching loads and customer information and I got one of the nicest emails. It was a friendship email and it actually left me kind of speechless after that. It had been passed around our company but I never expected to get it from the person that I did. In fact, M and I were joking that I should send it to him but I didn't want to bother him since I spent Tuesday racking his brain and taking some valuable time out of his day by emailing him. Anyway, if you haven't figured it out yet, I got the email from J which was an extremely sweet thing for him to do, especially since not everyone was special enough to get the email. I actually felt kind of important to him. :)

Anyway, tomorrow is Friday again and I'm sure I'll have something going on...I hardly ever have a boring day at work. I don't know what is going on after work or this weekend, but M and I will figure something out....we don't let a Friday get by without a plan for some sort of fun. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

First Day of Spring My Foot...

Yeah so today is supposed to be the first day of spring and what kind of weather advisory do we get...a winter weather advisory and our dear meteorologists are predicting 3-5 inches of snow and right now it is getting ready to sleet. What the heck! I definitely need to go south! But, I have more important things to worry about right now, so I'll just move on.
Last week was a blur at work and by the time I realized it, it was Friday afternoon and I'm trying to figure out what I've been doing the entire week. The President of the company called me into his office on Friday to tell me what he envisioned for my job and my department and wanted to get my input on everything. He also told me that starting this Tuesday, I'm going to have weekly meetings with our Controller (my boss), Director of Operations (C) and our billing department regarding accounts receivables and billing and report back to him summarizing our progress. I'm a little nervous, especially considering my first meeting is tomorrow afternoon at 4 pm. I'm leading these meetings and letting everyone know what needs to be done in order to improve some of our business procedures. Little ol' me...the one with 8 months of trucking experience telling men who have been in transportation for years the changes we need to make to be even more successful financially. However, I have also been informed that there will be incentives for the progress that I make, so I'm a little excited and hoping I can pull off something to make a noticeable difference. Wish me luck!

So anyway, after work on Friday, M and I hit a place in St. Charles for drinks before we went to see one of our favorite bands play at the Bottleneck Blues Bar. I was feeling really good by the time we left the first bar and all I can say is thank goodness I didn't drive! 4 Margaritas do quite a number on me and the Smirnoff Ices afterwards did not help either! We had a great time dancing though.
Sunday ended up being a pretty fun day too. M came over and we baked cookies for our friends down in Laredo and brownies for the office up here. C took our care package to Laredo today when he left on his business trip. Hopefully the boys down there will enjoy them. Pretty much it was just a little token of how appreciative we are that they continually help us straighten out our jobs up here. Then we talked about all of the crazy stuff that has happened the last few months. She and I have been through a lot and it's so great to have a friend that can relate to everything that the two of us have gone through, especially now that more and more people are giving me crap about a certain aspect of my life. Although I do think I'm going to have to have a talk with a few of these people that are starting stuff because for one, it is not professional and two, it could cause waaaaayyyy too many problems if anything else gets said, even jokingly. I guess this is the kind of stuff that people have to put up with in the real world.

One final note, I would like to wish my baby bro (who is now taller than me and much cooler also) a Happy Belated 19th Birthday! I know I called you on Friday and wished you a happy birthday, but it never hurts to say it twice. I hope you had a great time out with the guys and whenever you have a free minute, I'll take you out to celebrate too!

This weekend turned out pretty well

I have actually had a pretty awesome weekend for a change...no fights, no work, just all out fun for the last few days. Friday night after work, M and I and a few others met the President of our company for drinks after work and then M and I grabbed dinner and hit one of our favorite spots to listen to Dr. Zhivegas. (I think we're becoming groupies! In fact, the guy at the door didn't even check my ID this time because he said he recognized me. That's a little scary that with so many people coming through that bar that he knows me. I do go there waaaay too often!) Anyway after a long day of work and a few drinks we weren't really in a dancing sort of mood so about halfway through the first set we decided we would just leave and get home at a fairly decent hour. We got back to my car at work and ended up sitting in the parking lot and talking for like a half an hour. I know I have not filled everyone in on all of the stuff happening in my life and trust me, it's really not worth spilling my guts out to everyone about it, but there has been a lot that has been on my mind and bothering me for a few months and it is so nice to have a friend there to listen to me and help me sort out the mess I put myself into. You would have thought that I would be able to move on, but it is still taking its toll on my thought process and my emotions and pretty much every other aspect of my life. One good thing is that I'm finally getting some clarity and I think that eventually I will be able to take a deep breath and realize that I will be alright, especially since M now has the full and uncut story on everything and she can help me find some closure.
Saturday I just ran a few errands and went to the grocery store and came home for a relaxing day. M called me later in the evening to make sure that I was hanging in there and to invite me to a dinner at her house since today was one of her son's birthday. I had an awesome time over there today. I hardly knew anyone in the extended family but I know all of her kids and her side of the family so I did feel a little bit better than if I would have known just her. They are a riot though! We played Sequence tonight and had a blast. I was so afraid of feeling awkward, but I just tried to be myself and I think it turned out alright.

It's back to work tomorrow, hopefully we'll be moving forward this week rather than trying to pick up the pieces of the messes we've had lately. After work I'm going over to get my hair highlighted and cut at M's sister's place. It's time for a update and change.

Other than that, it's been same ol', same ol' here.

Happy 21st Birthday Cuz!

I would just like to say to one of my favorite people in the world Happy Birthday! Today is my cousin Mary's 21st birthday and like all 21st birthdays for our family, we hit the casino after work. It ended up being a blast and even though I lost some money, I'm glad I was able to get off of work at a decent time and go meet everyone. And Cuz, as a personal note to you...watch out now because you know this means more trouble for us to get into now that you are finally legal!

As for everything else, well it just keeps piling up. I thought I was actually doing good for a change by the middle of last week and then all hell broke loose. The email server at work crashed during an upgrade and from Wednesday afternoon on it was a complete disaster. Not only did we lose email, but I also lost Quickbooks which is the main accounting software for two of the companies I work for and our Laredo terminal lost all of their files. We finally got everything up and running on Monday morning after 4 and a half long days (yes, I consider weekends because our operations are 24/7) and we come to realize that nothing had been backed up and therefore all old emails and contacts and pretty much anything else stored in Microsoft Outlook were completely gone and the only backup that I had for Quickbooks was from January 20th. So I have spent the last two days trying to create the last month and a half for two companies and then find all of the information I can to recreate my address book for my business contacts. Finally at 4:45 pm today I had both companies re-entered and I had a start on my email contacts. Perhaps the best advice given to me today, which really I should have known but didn't really think about until it was mentioned, came from J, who told me that I need to go back to the old time ways and write everything down in a notebook and print out as much as I can. I guess I do rely heavily on computers and servers and everything electronic and perhaps much of my generation does, but I know better now and you can bet to sure that I will have everything backed up should that ever happen again. Actually the whole reason why I called J was to give him some great news. Finally, after 3 months of bugging and hounding him and pleading for all of his help, I got a check from the client that he was helping collect payment from. I could have done cartwheels around the office today when I saw that check come in and I guess I do owe him a batch of cookies now. I better get baking this weekend!
I don't know what I'm going to spend my time working on now. It seems like every day I was calling or emailing or sending him messages across the system asking him what the status was on payment. Oh how will he survive without me hounding him??? I'm sure I can find a million other things to call him about! ;) He is the brains behind the operations in Laredo now...and I told him that whenever I have questions he the first one I'll call because even if he doesn't know the answer he will come up with something and make it sound right. (A lot like myself according to Josh.)

Tomorrow is crazy, hectic Wednesday again. I'm never prepared for Wednesdays...even though I work hard to make sure that everything goes smooth something comes up and throws that plan out the window. At least I have something to look forward to after work. We're taking D out for her birthday and since M and I celebrate "Mexican Day" every Wednesday we're going to finish off the day at Casa with margaritas. (By the way, for those of you unfamiliar with "Mexican Day," it's the day that M pays all of our logistics carriers, most of which are Mexico based companies...hence the name.)

So that's the scoop for now. I'll be sure to update on all of my adventures...and hopefully I'll stay out of trouble for the time being!

It's been a whirlwind ride

So it has been extremely crazy lately and things have gotten a little out of hand for me. All I can say is thank you to those who have understood and helped me through the mess known as my life. After my drunken stupor on Thursday night there was another little issue on Friday night but I'm happy to report that with the help of my wonderful guy Josh, I was able to realize that most of the stuff I say and do is because I care so much. And M, I'm sorry I acted like an idiot at first and I know you're sorry too for what was said and I'm glad that we were able to work through everything. You are my best friend and I would never do anything to jeopardize that, whether alcohol is involved or not.
The rest of the weekend I just kinda kicked back and didn't do anything, which was nice because I have been in overdrive for about 3 months now and I think that has caused a lot of the problems. It was so nice to take a Sunday and be able to read the newspaper and watch tv and cook a decent meal. I have finally started to see that having one day to just take it easy is not a bad thing. I don't have to constantly be on the go, something so simple, but difficult for me to understand sometimes.

Today I went back to the grindstone at work. I had a huge meeting on Friday afternoon with the President of the company, the Director of Operations, Controller and Billing Department regarding accounts receivables and billing and the status of each and I know that there is a lot of work to be done with that so I continued to plug along today with getting accounts up to date. J called from Laredo and surprised the heck out of me because when I answered the phone rather than saying, "Hey Lindsay, this is J," I hear "Hey Sugar, how's work going this morning?" I was a little confused at first but still excited to hear from him. He was inquiring if I had gotten a check from the account he was helping me collect. I promised him another batch of cookies when that account was cleared up and I'm sure he called just to make sure that I didn't forget about that. Of course I wouldn't forget! I'm just waiting until the day when I can finally say...thanks for letting me bug you for the last 2 months. My day turned out pretty well though and I was actually able to leave on time tonight, granted I did come in an hour early this morning, but hey, leaving at 5 is an accomplishment for me! Tomorrow is month end again...it seems to come around so fast and luckily this month I'm not struggling with getting 1099s taken care of as well.
Things are starting to look up and that's the biggest thing for me right now.

Note to Self......

Yeah, so I don't know what the heck happen tonight and I'm not sure if I really want to know, but just a few minutes ago I got a text message back from M. Apparently in my drunken stupor earlier tonight I sent her a text message and from what I can tell I could have gotten myself into some major trouble. I'm not sure if I actually did what I said I was going to do in the text message I sent to her or not...that's all a little fuzzy. But anyway, the reason why this is a note to self is for the simple fact that I have got to quit going to drinking right after work because it only leads to problems....and I'm sure that it lead to some tonight. I guess I'll find out in the morning what kind of damage I did when I get to work. J, if I happened to call you...I didn't mean whatever I said. :)

Right now, I'm going to bed because I feel like crap. I'll deal with everything else in the morning or tomorrow during the day since I have numerous meetings with the people I went out drinking with tonight. Oh geez...what did I get myself into???? So much for my quiet evening at home!

The Shock of My Life

I thought today was going to be a normal Sunday. I had made plans earlier in the week with Josh to meet for lunch and I was really looking forward to that because with the craziness of my job and the holidays and everything else we hadn't gotten a chance to see each other since mid-November (way too long...if I may say so!). So this morning, I got up...excited as anything and wanting to accomplish a million things before we met because I was full of energy, I baked a batch of cookies for him and tried to organize my apartment a bit and then got ready. We met at 1 pm and I ended up being the one that was late this time because I got lost on my way out to West County, but it was so nice to get to be able to spend time with him catching up and just having each other's company for awhile. I filled him on everything that has happened at work and all of my family issues and anything else I could think of that we hadn't had a chance to talk about. Then, he drops a bomb on me. I was a little confused at first because he didn't come right out and tell me what he was hoping to do. I'm sitting listening to him thinking the absolute worst, especially since he says, "I'm thinking about my future and making some changes to my life..." and just when I think he's going to completely break my heart for being such a bonehead and insensitive bitch the last few months he tells me that he's thinking about going to flight school and joining the National Guard. I don't know what was harder for me at the time, the thoughts running through my head or hearing that. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that Josh was in the Army before and my step-dad even retired from a military career, but with the state of things now, I can not say I'm fully happy with this decision and I'm sure the expression on my face let Josh know that. Of course, because he knows me so well anyway, he knew I wouldn't be thrilled with this idea and it also doesn't help that if he is accepted to this program, training is in Alabama. I'm wanting us to move closer together, not farther apart...I have had a heck of a time adjusting to the 2 hours & 125 miles between us, I don't know how I would deal with the 694.37 miles (yes, I mapquested it!). Nothing is set in stone yet and I'm glad I have some warning because this is a big deal for both of us...ok, more so for Josh, but still it does sort of involve me.
But, I will say this no matter how shocked I was and no matter what the look on my face implied, Josh, I support whatever you decide to do. Going into any branch of the military is an honorable thing to do and like you told me today, quoting JFK, "ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." If you think that flight school is the next step that you should take, then I will live with it and learn to adjust to you being somewhere else rather than St. Louis or Cape. You know you mean the world to me and I can't be selfish right now. The only good thing to come out if it would be to see you in that uniform again because you know how I feel about that! Although a picture of you in your Army uniform would suffice! :)

In any case, our lunch together this afternoon was great...we really need to do that more often. We finally got to exchange our Christmas presents today also. I got Guess' Sweet and Sassy perfume and body lotion gift set, which smells absolutely divine and I got Josh Armani's Acqua di Gio cologne and a Army Special Forces white gold pendant and necklace. I didn't even know that he was reconsidering the military when I bought the pendant months ago, but it just seemed to fit today. Hopefully he liked it, the cologne was a no brainer, especially since I love the way it smells and it's one of his favorites anyway.

Tomorrow it's back to the daily grind of trucking accounting. M and I are supposed to be moving into our new office tomorrow too which should be a trip. I've got a million things to get off my desk before we move so hopefully there is a plan as to when all of this is going to happen. Knowing how things have gone the past few months though...it will be another fiasco, but it will be nice for all of the accounting functions to work together in one area. See, we are making progress!

One Big Ramble

I'm finally starting to see what everyone has been saying to me for the last 3 months. Until the last few days, I thought most of my friends were crazy, but something just sort of clicked this afternoon. For those of you that don't know exactly what I'm rambling about, I'll explain...of course this is from my point of view and I'm sure everyone else is seeing this a little differently. About 3 months ago, I kind of had a change of heart about myself and my life and I decided that I needed to lighten up a bit and just be myself rather than try to fit into a mold of someone I wasn't. I didn't start out with anything drastic. I decided that I would slowly start to loosen up, while still being the responsible, mature person that everyone has known me to be. Small talk with my coworkers was the first step because besides M, I didn't really say much to anyone. J was the first person who really took to the small change in my behavior and he showed me that it was alright for me to have fun while not compromising everything I had worked so hard to become. By the time December rolled around and we threw the happy hour for J, I started feeling a little more comfortable around some of my other coworkers -- joking inside and out of work with all of these people I had grown to know over the last 4 months. The next week at the Christmas party (mostly because I was a little nervous to be going to a company function by myself), I decided that it wouldn't hurt to put myself out there a little bit and show some of the people higher up what I'm made of. By the end of that night and really the end of the week for that matter, I realized that my happiness was the one thing that I needed to start to consider.

Fast forward to mid-January, I decided that I'm only this age one time in my life and I needed to live each day to the fullest. I can't regret saying or doing something or not doing something for that matter. I can't let the what-ifs take over my life anymore and I need to act rather than react. When it came down to my work life, I decided to put together a proposal and take it to the president of the company to show him what exactly I have been working on the last few months. I finally found the rest of my courage and yesterday I presented it to him. He was stunned and really impressed. Stunned that I had put some much time into making sure that I had all of the facts organized and impressed that I went to all of the trouble that I did. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders after I met with him because it's something that I have been meaning on doing for awhile but I finally found the time and the confidence to do so. Well after that meeting I felt on top of the world and like I can accomplish anything. Today I was a completely different person...the person I have looked forward to becoming....a confident, smart and fun young woman.
Funny story with that though too. I had to email one of my other bosses (I know you have all heard about C -- let me refresh your memory if not, he's the other hot guy in our group besides J) about truck mileage for the month of January so I could finish up payroll numbers to pass on to someone else. Being in Laredo right now, I wasn't sure if he would be able to get them to me as soon as I needed them, but I still gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked that it be taken care of as soon as he had a free minute because it was important for the next step which has to be done by next Monday. About 30 minutes later, I get a reply to my email with all of the mileage numbers that I needed. I was so appreciative because it took a ton of work off of me because I plug these few numbers into a calculation and it gets the next piece of the puzzle going, so I emailed him back and was pleasant and said, "thanks...that helped tremendously! How's Laredo?" Just making small talk because we have missed him in the office this week and I got another response back: "It's warm and sunny and 70 degrees!! I heard you guys got snow -- Yuck!!" And becuase I was in such a giddy sort of mood and because I have this new outlook, I replied back. This continued on for about an hour...not constantly but in between what I was working on and what he was doing down at the terminal. I would have never thought that I would have gotten one response back...let alone the 5 or so that I did. I've now determined that it doesn't hurt to get out there and stir it up a bit...you might actually make someone' s day and make them feel more comfortable and at ease also. I know this seems a little strange, but because of the situation, which I really can't mention a whole lot about right now, this was a definite change.
From all of this rambling, I've come up with one conclusion...it's alright to put yourself out there and while you might think you look or sound stupid, it's ok -- a person is usually 10 times harder on themself than anyone else would be. I can't worry about what everyone else thinks and I need to just take care of me...even if it means looking like a complete doofus every now and then.

Finally, if I haven't confused everyone enough already, here's one more thing. M and I found out today that moving day is Monday. We're moving from our quiet, cute little office in the back of the suite to the big billing and accounting addition that was just opened 3 weeks ago. We're looking forward to the change, but we know it's going to be a big difference as well. No longer can we make our crazy comments back and forth about Laredo or dancing at Syberg's on J's birthday or doing our impressions of our favorite people in the office. I have a feeling that we're going to be a bad influence on the two new people in billing. We'll see how next week goes, but they might be asking us to move back into our quaint little office at the end of the hall!

I'll keep you updated!
By the way, Happy Birthday M! The party of the year is Friday night after work to celebrate!

An Interesting Find

Well, I decided to take it easy on Sunday, but since it was my birthday and I had gotten numerous automatic emails wishing me a happy birthday from the mailing lists I belong to, I went through most of those and clicked on some of the links. One I found pretty interesting...it was a sample astrology reading. Now, I'm not usually big into these things but because I just needed a break from my life for a minute, I decided to put in the necessary info and see what came out. It actually read me like a book. After entering my birth date (1/29/83) and the time of my birth (7:33 pm), it generated this report:

Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others
Modest, unobtrusive, and often rather quiet or shy, you are a person you is content to be in the background or to serve as an assistant, in the supporting role rather than in the lead. You are quite humble in your own assessment of yourself and you have a very strong perfectionistic attitude, with a tendency to be overly self-critical. No matter how well you do something, you always see the flaws in it and how it could be improved. Often you will simply refuse to atttempt something because you feel you cannot meet your own high standards.

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
You are a freedom-loving, strong-willed, and independent-minded individual, and you insist upon living your own life as you see fit, even if that means ignoring convention and tradition. In personal relationships you cannot be owned or possessed, and while you are willing to share yourself with another, you do not always adjust easily to the emotional give and take of a close relationship. Though intellectually open, you can be enormously stubborn, opinionated, and inflexible on a one-to-one level. You have strong convictions and feelings about fairness and equality, and you try to live by your ideals, but your ideals about how people SHOULD treat one another don't always take into account human weaknesses, differences, and needs. You probably dislike sentimentality and traditional gender roles and "games".

I just thought it was interesting. Anyway, yesterday was also the start of the Chinese New Year and according to the Chinese calendar this is my year. We'll see what kind of changes that brings for me too. Supposedly, a "fire" in the Year of the Dog will stimulate confidence and energy and I will make a difference no matter what cause I choose to fight for or for which underdog I reach out to. I am also sweet, warm and loving, but I won't be pushed around either. In 2006, I'll show management that I'm a leader, not just a follower and someone will appreciate my talent. (Ha! I think that just means more work for me!) As for my personal life, it says that I'm charismatic and this is my year for enduring love, but not to rush into something because my special year is 12 months long. (Haven't rushed yet - what will make me start any time soon???)

Today was back to the daily grind and it was completely crazy. Tomorrow is the deadline for getting out W-2s, 1099s and other tax documents necessary for filing taxes and I'm rushing around like an idiot trying to make sure that my company is compliant. Everything was going smoothly until my computer decided to freeze when I was almost ready to print out a batch of 1099s and I lost the files that I was working with. So rather than having a 9 or 10 hour day, my day was 12 hours long and I still had stuff to work on here at home. But, as much of a pain it was to have to redo that batch, I have a huge one to process tomorrow and I'm hoping that it runs smoothly since I'm cutting it really close this year. Tomorrow will also be crazy considering it is the last day of January and all of the monthly books need to be closed as well...hard to believe we've made it through a month of 06 already. Time is flying by!

Finally, I would like to brag about what great people I work with. As most of you know, I'm good friends with quite a few of my coworkers but today was such a surprise. Usually we take turns baking cakes for birthdays in the office but today there was a feast for me and everyone was so nice. D bought me a candle and made a carrot cake and brownies and taco dip and M bought me pink roses and everyone in the office signed a card for me. It was so thoughtful! Even with all the stress, this is why I continue to put in all the hours that I do. Call me crazy but I think it all evens out in the end.

Happy Birthday to Me

As promised I have a rundown of the festitivies from Friday night and I must say...my friends are freaking awesome! Last night was one of the best nights I've had out and it is only behind the nights we took J out. In any case, we started out at Patrick's for Happy Hour and to meet everyone and just started off slow. The music they were playing in there wasn't all that great but we muddled through that and waited for everyone to show up so the real party could get started. M ended up being unable to come to celebrate because her son had to have surgery yesterday afternoon, but K, D, T and S all filled in nicely for her. (Keep them all straight now...there will be a test later!) At one point, a few of us left the table and when we come back K has some guy there trying to pick her up. It was hilarious not only because the guy was completely wasted but he kept asking the same things over and over to her and she'd be friendly and nice and answer him with the same answer she told him 10 minutes prior and finally at one point she says to him, "what the hell can't you understand here....we just talked about this 5-10 minutes ago" and he still kept up with it until finally K wanted to ditch the guy and the rest of us were fed up with the crappy music so we went over to America's Pub. That is a happening place on Friday night and we ended up having a lot of fun in there! First off, we were looking for a good place to dance and while it got off kind of slow when we made it in there at 9, the place started getting going a little after that. K and I were the first two to hop onto the dance floor basically because if I didn't start moving the alcohol was just going to soak up in my system and I'd feel completely wasted in no time and I didn't want that to happen, especially since I have to work today still. Once we got out there neither one of us could stop laughing -- there was a group of guys probably pretty close to my age but they were doing the Justin Timberlake and N'Sync moves from a few years ago and it was funny as hell. It was like a dance off between like 4 guys and it made the evening more entertaining than it already was. Also at one point, K and I decided that we should go up to the DJ to see if he could play something so we could rock out. The DJ put on Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" for us and we got everyone out on the dance floor then. See it just takes a little bit of classic rock to get the party pumping and from that time on, most of us stayed out on the dance floor for the rest of the night. I did miss my dance partner out there though and since he couldn't make it up here to celebrate, K and D decided to find me another one. There was this really hot guy dancing behind us and he did have some pretty good moves and D says to me, "you need to ask him to dance with you." Well of course, I was too chicken to do that, so a little bit later, I see K walk over and say something to him and next thing you know, I have a new dance partner. He danced with me pretty much the rest of the time I was there which was cool, but I still missed J and C for that matter since he was out of town and couldn't join in on our little party. Leaving Westport was the real comedy though. Most of us parked in close to the same part of the parking lot but when it's dark and there are tons of cars out there its really not that easy to find your car. K and I walked around that parking lot for about 10 minutes hitting the remotes for our cars hoping that one of them would beep and neither did until we were like directly in front of them. So much for panic buttons! It was an awesome night though and I'm so happy to have such great friends -- they made the evening a blast for me and one of the best birthdays ever! Thanks a bunch everyone!
Also, while I'm thinking of it, I would like thank J. I was at the copy machine at work at about 3 minutes to 5 yesterday afternoon and K yelled over to me that J was on line 33 for me and it was extremely important for him to talk to me before we left for Westport. Thinking I screwed something up and but also being excited to hear from him, I started turning weird colors in front of K and D and one of the other dispatchers who was sitting out in our operations area. I picked up the phone and tried to be as professional as I could be and on the other end of the line I hear, "hey girl, I just called to tell you happy birthday since I won't get to talk to you on Sunday and have a good time out tonight. I wish I was up there to celebrate with you but behave yourself anyway." I couldn't believe that all the way in Laredo, Texas he remembered my birthday -- what a guy! No wonder he's my bestest buddy!

Anyway, now I'm off to work for a few hours to get caught up on a few things and to get reports out to my bosses since I didn't have time last night. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

The Glass is Half Full

Well it looks as though most of my personal issues that I was left sorting out fixed themselves in the last two days. It's amazing what communication does for a few people...let's say 3 people just to have some sort of a number. But hopefully things keep moving forward and everything falls into place like it should over the next few weeks. I'm going to be positive for the time being because it's easier to get through everything that way.

My work life continues to be a mess. I'm working like crazy and just when I think I'm making progress something else comes up and I'm left sorting through the pieces and trying to take care of each situation. I was a little bummed today. I've been at this company for 6 months now, in a position that I considered fairly important until my boss introduced me to the auditors this morning. Rather than introducing me at the "Accountant" that I am, he tells them I'm his "accounting person." Perhaps this wouldn't bother anyone else, but I have worked my ass off to get the title of Accountant. Anyone can be an "accounting person" -- I have a degree and I have the experience and while I'm still young, I think I deserve the title. Hell, I'll stop working the hours I am if I'm just an "accounting person" and go back to the 40 hour week that any other accounting person would. I know I probably shouldn't get this worked up about it but it did bother me quite a bit this morning. The only thing this afternoon that helped brighten up my day was the phone calls I got from my buddy down in Laredo. He always knows what exactly to say when I'm bummed or stressed out. Actually he called to talk to the Accountant about business and collecting one of our accounts but just hearing the disappointment in my voice he was able to cheer me up. Let me tell you...when you're day is going like crap...it's always uplifting to hear that southern drawl and someone calling you Sugar or Darlin'. (Note to everyone else: Remember that when I need to be cheered up!) Anyway, I was a giddy little school girl the rest of the afternoon. M thought I had completely lost it by that point, but it provided some comic relief for her as well.
Speaking of M, she and the rest of my work friends are taking me out on Friday night to celebrate my 23rd birthday. We're hitting Westport so if ya'll are free, you're more than welcome to come join us. Time for a little bar-hopping and dancing the night away and perhaps a little Korean Kareoke. We're definitely going to live it up though! And I'm sure I will have a few stories for another post. The stories are always entertaining when our group goes out and I'm sure this time will be no different. :)