The Shock of My Life

I thought today was going to be a normal Sunday. I had made plans earlier in the week with Josh to meet for lunch and I was really looking forward to that because with the craziness of my job and the holidays and everything else we hadn't gotten a chance to see each other since mid-November (way too long...if I may say so!). So this morning, I got up...excited as anything and wanting to accomplish a million things before we met because I was full of energy, I baked a batch of cookies for him and tried to organize my apartment a bit and then got ready. We met at 1 pm and I ended up being the one that was late this time because I got lost on my way out to West County, but it was so nice to get to be able to spend time with him catching up and just having each other's company for awhile. I filled him on everything that has happened at work and all of my family issues and anything else I could think of that we hadn't had a chance to talk about. Then, he drops a bomb on me. I was a little confused at first because he didn't come right out and tell me what he was hoping to do. I'm sitting listening to him thinking the absolute worst, especially since he says, "I'm thinking about my future and making some changes to my life..." and just when I think he's going to completely break my heart for being such a bonehead and insensitive bitch the last few months he tells me that he's thinking about going to flight school and joining the National Guard. I don't know what was harder for me at the time, the thoughts running through my head or hearing that. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that Josh was in the Army before and my step-dad even retired from a military career, but with the state of things now, I can not say I'm fully happy with this decision and I'm sure the expression on my face let Josh know that. Of course, because he knows me so well anyway, he knew I wouldn't be thrilled with this idea and it also doesn't help that if he is accepted to this program, training is in Alabama. I'm wanting us to move closer together, not farther apart...I have had a heck of a time adjusting to the 2 hours & 125 miles between us, I don't know how I would deal with the 694.37 miles (yes, I mapquested it!). Nothing is set in stone yet and I'm glad I have some warning because this is a big deal for both of us...ok, more so for Josh, but still it does sort of involve me.
But, I will say this no matter how shocked I was and no matter what the look on my face implied, Josh, I support whatever you decide to do. Going into any branch of the military is an honorable thing to do and like you told me today, quoting JFK, "ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." If you think that flight school is the next step that you should take, then I will live with it and learn to adjust to you being somewhere else rather than St. Louis or Cape. You know you mean the world to me and I can't be selfish right now. The only good thing to come out if it would be to see you in that uniform again because you know how I feel about that! Although a picture of you in your Army uniform would suffice! :)

In any case, our lunch together this afternoon was great...we really need to do that more often. We finally got to exchange our Christmas presents today also. I got Guess' Sweet and Sassy perfume and body lotion gift set, which smells absolutely divine and I got Josh Armani's Acqua di Gio cologne and a Army Special Forces white gold pendant and necklace. I didn't even know that he was reconsidering the military when I bought the pendant months ago, but it just seemed to fit today. Hopefully he liked it, the cologne was a no brainer, especially since I love the way it smells and it's one of his favorites anyway.

Tomorrow it's back to the daily grind of trucking accounting. M and I are supposed to be moving into our new office tomorrow too which should be a trip. I've got a million things to get off my desk before we move so hopefully there is a plan as to when all of this is going to happen. Knowing how things have gone the past few months though...it will be another fiasco, but it will be nice for all of the accounting functions to work together in one area. See, we are making progress!