Happy Birthday to me!

The last weekend of me being 23 years old and this has been quite possibly one of the best weekends I have had in long time! It actually helped me deal with turning 24...something which I have been dreading for about a month now. I'll get into that more later, but first my weekend....
It started about 10:20 on Friday night when Josh made it up to my place after his two hour drive from Cape. I was so excited to get to see him and spend some quality time together, especially since the past month and a half has been completely insane for both of us. So I ran downstairs to meet him as soon as I saw him pull into a parking space and from there all I wanted was to enjoy every second we were spending together. Lately, when we see each other we have dinner in Festus one night during the week or we'll grab dinner here in STL and then go on with whatever else we have planned for the night, but this time was a little different. I decided to go back to the old days when I used to cook every time he visited. This time I made a homemade pizza and we decided to stay in for the night. Since so much is going on and it seems to get crazier and crazier as each day passes, we definitely needed to sit down and talk for a bit. I told him all about year end and my month at work and he told me all about school and work and the National Guard and then we both updated each other on family life. Really, this was what I needed....and like I told him...I feel so much more safe and secure and content with my life when I know he can spare whatever little time he has to listen to my worries and stresses and the accomplishments. We fell asleep on my couch and thank goodness I set my alarm on my phone because I'm sure we would not have gotten up in time for Josh to leave and get back to work if I hadn't. 6 am came very early on Saturday morning but I got up bright-eyed and bushy tailed after the alarm went off and made breakfast for him while he got ready for work. You've gotta love a guy that will drive 2 hours in a night and spend almost 9 hours up here and turn around and drive back to be at work at 9 in the morning. That is dedication and I'm so lucky that he would do that for me! So I sent him back on his way with a batch of cookies and a lunch for work, just as a small token of how appreciative I am for everything.
Saturday I do have to say that I didn't do much. I spent the day in my pajamas just lounging around and catching up on some much needed relaxation. I paid some bills, got online and checked out my taxes for a bit but other than that, the couch was my best friend.
Today I had to catch up on all of my laundry and my mom and step-dad invited me over for a birthday dinner. My mom made one of my favorites....chicken parmesan and spaghetti and my grandma made me a birthday cake. It was a nice quiet dinner.
Next weekend though it is definitely on and we're celebrating big time. I've invited my friends and family out for dinner/appetizers and a night of dancing at one of my favorite spots. I know it will be a great time.

Tomorrow is the big day....I turn 24! Like I said earlier, over the past month I have had a hard time when thinking about turning 24 and I'm not exactly sure why. For some strange reason I think it has to do with where I thought I would be by the time I got to this age. Everyone keeps telling me to look at what I have done so far and see that I have made great strides but in the back of my mind I'm still thinking that I could have done so much more. (Who knows how that would have gone though because many times I feel like I don't even have time to think.) But, I think the idea of turning 24 is growing on me...I just have to justify to myself that I have done enough and I wouldn't be in the position I am with my job and my life if I did not work my hardest. I've had these thoughts before but for some reason I actually took them to heart this year....maybe my subconscious is getting to me now. That would be scary for sure!

Anyway, I hope everyone else had a good weekend as well!

Self reflection time

Bear with me now...I'm going to get philosophical here. Ever feel like you don't know why you are put here on Earth but that there is a reason why you meet the people that you do and you form the relationships you do? This has been a constant analysis for me but really over the last few days I've started to ponder this question more and more. Anyway, I'm not going to bring up details of anything but I am finally starting to feel like I've found my place here and while I'm still extremely young (at least according to most of my current friends!)...I think I understand the kind of person I need to be. I finally realize that it's not about the money I have or the car I drive or the clothes I wear or the career I have, but rather the way I treat others and how much of a friend I really am. I know this is a simple concept, yet how many people actually think about what they say and do around those people that they "supposedly" care about and call friends? I thought I knew the answers but I was mistaken before. It is about the giving of yourself unconditionally and without boundaries...a lot like love, but like love we fall into a trap and fail to follow through every time with those we care so deeply about. Most importantly, I'm very lucky to have these best friends in my life that helped me realize this and helped me find my purpose. Of course it took other's hardships for me to see this but maybe in the future it won't be the just hardships that keep us bonded but rather the "rules" of an unconditional friendship. I am also very lucky to have found friends that see this as an important value as well.

Ok, enough self reflection...the last two weeks have gone fairly well otherwise. I've been busy at work but I haven't completely lost my mind yet. Actually I finally was able to catch my breath this past week and work on everything for the IRS 1099 reporting that I have to finalize by the end of the month. I know the quiet, calm atmosphere won't last long but it sure was nice for a week. Last night we went to a trivia night and it was a lot of fun! My regular group that I hang with got a table and we went after work. I actually didn't do too bad with answering some of the questions and probably the best part was that we beat another table that we knew! It was a personal competition for us. Out of 100 points I think we had 76...not too shabby!!! After trivia night we hit Syberg's to go dance. I got home about 1:30 this morning. Haven't had a night like that in a long time! But, it was a lot of fun that is for sure! There was a lot of reminiscing for M and I too.
Tonight I have a quiet evening at home....nothing wild planned and that is probably for the best. Right now I'm listen to my Ipod that I bought a speaker base for today and I'm going to work on getting it loaded with more music so M and I can listen to it while we're working. I know...I'm too much of a mover and shaker here! :)

Days like today...

Days like today are the reason why I love my job so much and I can't imagine working with a better group of people. Anywho, it was a really good day -- very busy but I found time to talk to one of the greatest people I know and he had me laughing most of the afternoon. I don't know how I get myself into the conversations I do (ok, that's a lie...I say crazy stuff...that is how it happens), but J seems to know exactly what is on my mind and where I'm going with everything and that is pretty scary! We got to talking about Christmas and New Years and the next time he gets to head north and somehow I thanked him for a very nice compliment he gave me this afternoon and the next thing you know we're talking about the crazy compliments I've gotten from my other co-workers this week and soon enough I brought up the fact that one of our fleet managers told me that he loved my shoes yesterday and that another one said I had cute pockets on my pants today. These are guys that I never would imagine giving me a compliment and so I comment to J about it and then he absolutely kills me by saying that if he was in St. Louis he would have probably joined in on the crazy compliments today as well. And of course I come back with that I didn't think that he would ever compliment my shoes or tell me that I was wearing cute pants and I'm sure he never noticed what the heck I had on like most of the fellas I work with. But it definitely got me to thinking....are people actually looking at what I'm wearing and how I look. I mean I never go into work wearing something tacky and I'm always put together, but I think I'm going to have to make sure that I always keep up a certain image...you never know what someone is thinking and willing to say!

Anyway, I just found that funny, especially since I thought I was a just a wallflower to all of the Ops people besides J and C. I guess I have made myself known! I wonder if that is a good thing....I guess we'll just have to wait and see!