It stinks to have to put together another update under these circumstances, but really everyone should know that I haven't fallen off of the face of the earth, even though I haven't been around much lately.
I've been dealing with a lot of family issues the last few weeks and especially over the last 4 days. My grandma on my dad's side passed away earlier in the week and I have slowly been trying to get my emotions back in check and take care of everything that comes along when you lose a loved one. It has been a very difficult week that is for sure. I tried to go back to work yesterday and I had a horrible time trying to concentrate and catch up and get back into my routine.
All I can say though is that my Grandma was a trooper. She moved forward after my Grandpa passed away in November 2005 and was trying to just live her life, even if it was hard to do. She lived on her own until she broke her hip in September last year and even then she went to therapy at the nursing home and tried to make a full recovery. Who would have known that a day after her 71st birthday her body would decide to start failing on her and she would go through so much in just one week's time.
I went out to my dad's last weekend because I had heard that things were not looking good and I spent all weekend at the nursing home just trying to do what I could to make her comfortable. I joked with her to ease the pain I was feeling in my heart and told her about my failed fudge attempt at Christmas and how I needed her to teach me to make something besides marshmallow fluff with chocolate chips in it. And would you believe that even though she couldn't get all of the words out, she mouthed that I needed to time it for 10 minutes while its on the stove and it would work...even at her worst she still looked out after me. That's what Grandma's do though....or at least my Grandma did and I am extremely grateful to have her around for as long as I did.
She wanted me to have her wedding dress...a dress that would make anyone look like a princess and even though the idea of marriage has not crossed my mind recently, it would be an honor to wear such a beautiful dress -- a dress that has 52 years of a strong, loving marriage embedded into its threads. I made it through the rest of my week trying to think positively and remember that she and my Grandpa are back together, but it still proved to be very difficult.
Thank goodness I have all of the wonderful people in my life to help me out too. M took care of me on Monday night after I found out the news and my cousin Mary came over and spent a few hours helping me look for pictures for my memorial board.
And I would have been completely lost without Josh. He knows exactly what to say to calm my nerves down, no matter what and this time was no different. I drove down to Festus to meet him for dinner last night and got to spend some much needed time talking and catching up. I think I was finally content with everything that has happened the last few weeks by the time I made my way home and for the first time in nearly two weeks I got a decent night's sleep and I didn't wake up completely exhausted.
I don't have a whole lot planned for this weekend. I know there are a million things that I need to accomplish but I just would like some time to rest. Tomorrow I have to go do my laundry and I am going to spend some quality time with my Grandma on my mom's side. I realize now that it is extremely important to share time together with family and that's what I intend to do.
I hope everyone has an enjoyable weekend.
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